No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
