i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
