im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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