from now on my penis is your penis
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
