Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
