it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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