i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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