I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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