and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
