I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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