therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
