i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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