He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
