Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
