oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Alive.
So much puke
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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