if you like me you must not know who I am
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize