What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
