Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
