i can't believe i had my finger in that
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
