How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
