I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
