Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
