I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Oh god it's open bar.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
