if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
