I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
