There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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