I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
