saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
