i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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