No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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