I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
