Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
