HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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