I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
