he shaved USA in his pubs
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
