Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
