just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
