mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
