My room smells like vodka and shame
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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