So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
