She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
