i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
