Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
