why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
