Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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