But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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