the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
