I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
