When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
