I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
