how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
