i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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