well you can't waste a boner
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
