how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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