I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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