Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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