Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm really into asian looking animals
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
