I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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